a hidden space of my own, where my secrets lays untold...

2011-02-28T21:15:00.000-08:00

disappointing... he had became so insecure and all that action that derived from his insecurity is making no sense at all.

the first time i know him, smart young man. Full of confident and a gentleman and now a man full of exploitation. Although i have change over the years, but i always i have change for the better. I know what i want in life and i am going for it. well, on opposite; HIM. Is standing there and not moving. Maybe it because he got too much free time that he let this sense of insecurity usurp him. This piss me off big time. When he need help financially, i am there instantly. For a calculative woman like me, i should have charge him interest rate. Well, i never did. He took his own sweet time in returning me. On the second round of money lending again, he promise me a full return plus and LV bag. And even include my trip to paris to buy it. After i sort of told him that he is not good enough for me as a prospect husband. He immediately took back his words. "what a jerk!" so that means he is habouring the thought that i would return to him and hence plus the incentive. Once he know that its impossible, he drop all his promises.

I don't blame him of course, just that i am glad i have already left him. this kind of man would not lead me in anything. He kinda hook up with another lady and got jerk off as well. He is blaming the whole world, what a useless cunt. And after my "consultation", he is able to stand up and try to take advantage of me in the cab. WTF. GET A LIFE! YOU USELESS CUNT!

Looks can be deceiving, so ladies, watch out! he is out hunting for you girls at the clubs. I am like WTF, he don't even club. He went clubbing just to extend his social network of gf hunting. It will always end up in a circle mate. You need God, you dun need a woman.

2010-09-05T05:57:00.000-07:00

this weekends has been the most "brainstorming" weekends i ever had. Not brainstorming about work stuff but my next step.
After attending a church service, i been even sure about my conviction of a huge change in my life. well, it take time to make it happen. I have 2 more years to do that. hopefully to return with a glorious victory...

2010-09-04T06:23:00.000-07:00

"there is no need for such a drama" keeps ringing in my head, i recalls my actions and wonder am i causing such a drama. maybe i was, but thats because i care. And it hurts, i could not think, i could not sleep. Anguish and pain consumes me as i visualize the scene that may went through. "you make yourself angry, you hurt yourself", Is that all? i wonder. But the truth is the truth. i let myself go, i should have known. How can you say this words to me?

i always knew things are never gonna last forever,but why keep trying hard to make my hope dash. All i want is to enjoy the moments. That all i have for now, beautiful moments that is to become memories... All the things i have now, are they going to disappear? i can never tolerate the thought of having nothing, going back to square one, from where i came from? i will do anything to keep my life as perfect as they are. you are protecting yourself, but what about me? you want to do it first, you think i can get over it because i am still tender.

well... maybe i should let things sink a little. You know i can do it. well, at least i tell myself that...

2010-07-13T05:49:00.000-07:00

i am under a financial crisis... and it won't resolve until the root of the problems is solved.
and the root is him. i have a huge amount of money sitting there and not coming in yet. Although i am not urgently in need but i can feel the urgency if the problem is not resolved quickly.

this uncertain feeling had to come to a end.
I want a stable life.
i do not want to touch my saving just to save your ass again and again.
yet, i can't let you drown. if u drown, i will eventually drown too.

God, please help us. at times like this, only u can.

as i step into this world, many dirty character of people unfold.
i feel disgusted, yet grateful that i am able to experience and learn.
as i walk through this life, the voice of what pst had taught rang through my ears
"Influence or be influence"
i began to remember how people are impressed by me. A woman young at age, yet behave and think mature. I am able to adapt and mingle with the adults as old at late 50s and have a enjoyable decent chat at the same time.

i see people, blinded by money. the thirst of power.
Money is important but not as important.
I believe money is important. i work for money. i crave for power.
yet, my character, must not be compromise.

I do hope i am not lost in this world.
I can still find Jesus in this world, in my heart.
i had not been activity reaching out as i used to.
I have not been praying fervently as i used to.
I have him in my heart, one day, i believe i will shine again.
i will win the world for you , Jesus.
i may not win all, but i will try my best.

Help me to believe i can.

2010-06-05T20:48:00.000-07:00

today is a wonderful day. its my number six day at perth. I will be here permanently for a year. Its been a sunday today, i am already so bored.

Maybe i should walk or try talking a bus to the city.
Its doesn't seem so far off, probably will take an 1/2 time to reach.
i should get a book and start reading, if not life would be so boring. I guess theres pretty much things for me to do like going upstairs for a gym or for a swim. *but there is always a "but" exist.

i am going to cook some lunch soon.
Hopefully i can find myself another beautiful apartment to stay.

Tonights theres gonna be a party, hopefully it will occupied some of my boredom space.

I just wanna lie down and be lazy... Gavin is not ard anymore. he can't drive me ard. Guess i will have to walk or learn how to catch a bus.

I miss home he 1st two day i arrived. but now, everythg seems ok. i had not called home yet.

Hopefully, they won;t be too worried about me.

2010-05-19T23:51:00.000-07:00

I love hate my job. Lately i begin to wonder if i should continue to stay...

my "assistant" msg me and told me they are doing sort of freelancing designing. 1st thought ran through my mind, you guys are using my works as a portfolio. And i wonder do i get any credit in return.

I was just ranting to R and i feel so much better. its ok being taken advantage off. God will give back the credit to me somehow.
Hate being stealing credit and claim as their own. But what to do, its human.

Eventually i wanna buy my own land, build my own resort.

2010-03-28T08:04:00.000-07:00

such an asshole..

U R DROPED!!!

2010-03-27T05:17:00.000-07:00

what happen... i wonder.
This has been in my mind for days...

how can someone drop you w/o a word.
what e reason, i wonder?
did i say smthg wrong?
is there an misunderstanding?

what wrong?

2010-03-25T21:10:00.000-07:00

well.. the weekends is here again.
_______________________________
i love weekend coz everyone is available for me.
i miss perth too... sometimes i wish to go back there and spend some time with my loves.

burden...

2010-03-25T06:37:00.000-07:00

i totally love this new skin... usually i will remove e credit line. but thinking back, its reasonable to give e person e credit for what they have done. they deserve it!

i feel so burden and this has been troubling me for a few days. thou she told me the issue is not with me. but somehow i felt it is.
before we make we decision, i already lay down the cards. Before we confrim, we need to seek approval before we make any decision. Hence e word was given and we decided to go ahead. But things crops up in e end.

this man blame it on me being a bad influence. i was kinda dejected after hearing this. I look back and wonder and praise God for this incident. At least we get to know the person better in a way.

i feel so wrong. i feel so bad when she feel sad. i nv want her to be unhappy. i love her more than i love anyone else. this affect her as well as me. for several years of friendship, we nv make each other make tough decision. yet this man come in and intervene.

i shouldn't encourage him to go after her after all... further more, we don't even know him well enough. now, he seem not what he seems to be. Just a bit better but so what. still so many lacks in his life. not worthy of the maiden that he is after. he is just a toad after a swan meat. *pardon me for saying. but he is!

Its just a small matter, why make a big fuss out of it? it just show u are a control freak, overly possessive and a humongous jealous pot. there is always a solution to every problem. can't we just solve it and get it over and done with rather making everyone unhappy.

How can u judge me when u dun even know me. so utterly dissapointed. you dun even remove the dirt in yr eyes and u wanna remove mine. have a challenging relationship like mine and talk to me. u nv make mistake now does not mean u will nv make in e future. to me, you are just like a 2 face person. and i entrusted my love to your care. i don't look thgs as there are now. i look thr the future. so what thgs is better and solve now. the future will still be hard and full of challenges.

i am like throwing my love to the fire furnace and i feel so disgusted at myself. Just because he impressed me well in e 1st place doesn't prove him to be really nice at all...

dun even knw i can pretend and continue to act as if nothing has happen... i shd get the oscar award.

2009-07-27T07:24:00.000-07:00

Didn't been posting for quite awhile and now blogger had shut off the upload picture command. WTH!!
anyway, just make do without them 1st.

Many things happen to me ya...
i follow Ray to Aussie. Well, with my own effort of course. I met my boss whom become a friend. He was the one who brought me there. Fly me there, accomodate me and feed me real well. My two months there was like a heavenly place. I nv want to come back. But alas i am back here in Sg. Life in aussie is like a dream.

when i first met my boss. he call me before i even met him. He was waiting outside my previous workplace. I did a job for him and he was pretty impressed and even thought i am the lady boss(alot of ppl assume too). So we had a chat and he wanted to bring me over to aussie. I was like Okay, u are a stranger anyway. But was happy due to the thoughts that count. I wonder if he ever will come across this blog. haha..highly unlikely. he is a computer noob. Back to the story, we weren't in contact for a few months and suddenly he came back. And he came back to visit me. The moment i saw him, i was like wow. I am elated. He remembered me... I did a couple of jobs for him ya. and he fly me to aussie to work for him. well, its was a good experience.

Can't believe i really went just like that. with a stranger whom i jus know for a couple of months. But i am glad i made that decision. I don't wanna miss any opporunity. *beam

i met new people, i went out with a guy name Bradley. He is really good looking and a ang moh. haha... Once in a lifetime must at least go out with Angmoh ma.haha... Well, we had italian when we first met and we went to kings park for a walk. I enjoyed his company while Old lim had a big fuss over me when i got back.

old lim is my guardian, he is very worried about me. He kept nagging at me not to go out with Brad anymore. But i got a deaf ear. I went out with Brad again. This time with his friends too. we went clubbing. I am so happy that night as i made alot of friends. All of them are very nice too. Old lim nag at me before i went out tat night. Telling me not to drink and leave my drink around. I did not drink much at all, only 1 pint and something happen. I pass out! it was so embarrassing loh. I was feeling so vain, wearing my super high heel. Think i do not have enough oxygen and due to my body, do not have enough haemogloblin. Thus i fainted. Jus like tat. I cause quite a rara at the club. The guys eventually had to carry me out. And what makes the matter worst. I drop my Coach wristlet! All my money, IDs and keys are inside.

I regain conscious with scott beside me to take care of me and i realise i lost my wrislet. Poor brad and the guys had to search high n low for it. Oh my... In the end, we found it. Brad send me home immed. What a night.
when i got home, i got to do some explaining.zzzzz

Now i am back in Sg. I got to meet my bestie. Love her so much. Enjoyed myself totally!!!
I had so much fun here.

Whatever success and happiness i have so far are due to God. He the one who give me everything. I love U father God. Muacks

2009-01-12T04:43:00.000-08:00

i shld edit my blog huh...
give it a new look kind, but i am lazy.

crazed for durian puff. i nv tired one before untill today. And i simply love it!
its so yummy lo. Once u bite into the puff, u can feel the durian filling yr whole mouth.
Totally GOOD!

This few days been sleeping very early. wonder why i am getting tired so easily.
Is it because of age, lack of exercise.
My outer part look healthy and good but inside is already rotting away...

bee is going for aust soon.
Gonna miss him very much i guess...
I pop by every 2mths...hhahaa

Cny is coming, i am looking forward. Gong xi fa cai!

2008-12-03T04:39:00.000-08:00

am so moody today...
alot of negatives thoughts are going ard my head. I began to feel restless and lost intrest in ppl ard me.weird.. i dun even look forward to weekends. hump.......

anyway just wash my hair. I love those curls, they are unexceptionally curly when its wet. look healthy and bouncy too. i can't help to stare at them in the mirror.
*beam

2008-11-11T06:08:00.000-08:00

was happily going out with my boss to look for a new printer... till we make a stop at cp.
my heart sank... i realised i could no longer see her beautiful smiling face waiting at the desk for me to come in. things and system had not change, but the people change. This affect the whole atmosphere as well. I felt a sudden pangs of lonliness... loooking back at the photos that we went for malaysia trip and simple bbq outing. i miss the times we spent together, everyone was so close to each other. Making fun of each other, that was truly a family. I couldn't help but to think back of the time when we go ard helping each other in OTing so everyone can go back earlier. when boss say, he don't miss anyone of us when we are gone. I do not believe him at all. I came to realise that relationship is so important and the true meaning of love when he chose to forgive. Everyone change, but he change for the better. I could not help but to doubt if he was the man i once knew. That the difference of having christ in us. Although he did not verbally said he had forgiven. I know he really love her and would the best for her. I reach home tdy and saw her msning me, i began to told her what i felt today. She was so touched and agree with every word i said. she even mention about going to church and having bible study. Now this soul save is not totally my effort, but the one man who had touch her heart by the power of forgiveness. Now ppl are doing stupid things just to protect themselves, i told her to be open and forgive ppl and accept the way they are, she would be Happier. Of course its not easy, but u gotta practice to make it a lifestyle. I believe we can enjoy the times we once spent together. Relationship is still so important. And i am so proud of my boss for making a difference and being a good example for everyone to learn. Keep it up!

2008-11-11T05:32:00.000-08:00

my use to be wishlist

~~find a rich bf/husband~~
flawless skin
~~attend school of theology~~
career/business woman
~~mission trip~~
build a school in vietnam
be an evangelist

a few more left to fulfill... thats good

2008-11-09T05:55:00.000-08:00

my trip to vietnam has been delayed again, this time 3mths later. was wondering shld i still go? they are delaying due to economic crisis. Its a social work anyway, they are subsidising. I bet the students are quite disappointed to heard that school term is goona delayed.

hope i can fulfilled my dream soon. Tomo, i am going back to Ep. well, after a big round. I am going back. I don't know why i am making this decision. I know i can get a better deal out there. But there is just smthg i can't answer. Probably is the move of God. I hope this time will be better, i will get along fine. At least i am able to find means to fulfill my pledge.

I am so proud of ray. He is even making effort to attend cg this time. Although most of the time i am scaring him about attending make up cg alone on alternative days. But, i can see he is so ready to commit. We are in new cg, all so young... some of them are even same age as our youngest bro. Pri 6 lo... like fellowshipping with my bro. But eventually, we will go wherever God want to place us. I may not be totally so ONz, but i believe i still can make it lah.

Helping a contestant to be a model for her in make-up competition in Asia con. Now got few pimples are popping out again on my forehead. someone please rescue me...

2008-10-27T21:16:00.000-07:00

ouch ouch ouch! groan~~~
was how i spent yesterday and today. i got muscle ache after going for the sports activity on sunday. I am not that bad, but poor ray he is aching terribly. He can't even laugh as he can feel the ache in his stomach. so both of us was like groaning the whole of yesterday. Sitting down and getting up is a dreadful chore for the both of us. This shows that we really lack of exercise and we need to do warm up.

lesson learnt i guess...

2008-10-09T23:16:00.001-07:00

been job hunting again. Mum was like nagging why i kept changing jobs. Well, i like it wat~ hahaha... went for interview. Quite near my house, not sure i am gonna get it. They will let me know by tdy. Hopefully can get this if not i will go ahead for vietnam. I am one of the chosen 7 candidate to go over vietnam as a expat. Not bad huh. However that is gonna been mid Nov. I can fulfill my dreams earlier leh, to build a school for the poor kids there. lol...

live life to the fullest! there gonna be a float party @ The Marina Bay Floating Platform. Hip Hop Party this sat. Most probably i am gonna turn up there. Sound fun huh...
those who wanna go,pm me *wink

2008-10-08T06:52:00.001-07:00

isn't this romantic...
bao ask me to do this illustration out for him. within 30min, earn $50 buck(frenship price).
he wanted to paint this on the wall to surprise his gf. he is always good at coming out creative and romantic ideas. imagine if i have accept his proposal as his gf e last time, the ger on the wall would be me, just that add bits of curly hair... but! NOOOOOO WAYYYYY!!! *slap slap

i like this more...

but he say he need a road, so there he goes...

happy proposal ar...dunno wat u r up to. Anyway, ALL the Best!

2008-09-29T09:21:00.000-07:00

I want a change in my life! something Big and abrupt!

wanna recommend a book call His Need, Her Need. Actually Pst recommend, then i go and buy. This book really taught people the impt of staying in a relationship. And most importantly how to do it. Author also wrote that people working in airlines need to read it. And they abs need this book. (yes, i am hinting you!) still dare to tell me cannot read anything except book within your scope.

my love bank is low... you know wats a love bank? find out from the book.
if u dun, its ok. No obligation.

2008-09-14T06:09:00.000-07:00

totally hate it when ppl ask me what am i working as...
feel totally embarrass...
anyway, good and fast money la.. jus work lo. Do i have a choice now?
my focus is still bringing ppl to christ, there is alot of ppl there. hope i can win them over soon.
feel so drained...

2008-09-07T09:29:00.000-07:00

well... ray off for his pilot training. I am left to be on my own now. hahah...
so far went pretty well, its good for me too. I can build up my own career now. Alot of people are kind of worried about me. Long distance relationship, stewardess... blah blah blah. All i can say is if that person is meant for you, he will always be. So i am not kind of worried and they even ask me if i cry. LOL. For wat sia... I am a little lonely yes, but to that extent. That y i keep tellling the girls: please do not build your life ard a guy. never man, if he left how are u going to survive. You gotta stand on ya own. I fall once but never will i make the same mistake again... hee. No one can destroy the joy within me. talking bout this, "he" wish me happy birthday thr msn. I was shocked yet elated. I delete him from msn the last time to stop myself from talking to him. I want to show him without him i can be a more beautiful, confident and capable woman. All the guys are still going bonkers for me. I can pick myself up again. I did it... and I found myself a new pair of shoes, a good shiny one. we chat for a little, it was good. At least i am comfortable. :) anyway its good, all of us are moving on. jia you everybody.

cg got me the book, love it.
p/s: bee, i am going to invade yr heart completely. muarhahhaha....

2008-08-28T09:12:00.001-07:00

hi peeps,

i went sg flyer tdy! totally awesome coz i get to ride. However, the whole process was only rated "so so" for me. Hmmm.... if only its open air. Maybe that could add to the excitment part. I love excitment.

Guess i am going to be abit busy during the weekends. Well, next monday i am starting my new job. Kinda fast rite, i love to work anyway. Prefer working than studying so i can spent and buy stuff i really wanted. Totally dislike the feeling of having no money. Must really watch what you spent. Yea, my life is coming back. I am going to be successful, to fulfill a dream of building a school in vietnam. Then i will bring those clubbers and Dj frens to go over and help. wooo.... tat will be really nice.

love u ppl.

2008-08-25T20:06:00.000-07:00

Oficially Graduated from Sot. another graduation coming up on oct.

I wanna head for the beach or maybe for a swim. needa exercise.
Better line up my activities this week. My final holiday week and grab hold of him.

I love vacations.

2008-08-21T07:10:00.000-07:00

was surfing ard some "use-to-be-close" friends profile. Its abit disheartening to see them change girlfriends again. *Sigh... I dun think they can be alone once in a while. About one year change 3 girlfriends. When i ask him why does he need a girlfriend so soon, he would say he can't stand being alone. I am wondering don't they need time to heal emotionally. From what i had know, it is always them ditching the girls. After a while, they give up and stop pursuing the relationship. Thats is why they are so old already yet not married. Most impt, they are not finacially stable. Most of them are addicted to gambling, smooking and alcohol. It is so hard to talk to them abt God. Their heart is full of unbelief, doubts and past hurts. I wonder when are they really going to grow up and take charge of their lifes. In their group, some of the guys even have a mistress. How sad... I guess the wife probably know about it. The guy is not home everytime, spending money on the mistress. Of course the mistress is pretty lah, she is nice to me as well.
Human relationships are so complicated. Dun even know why i know them. And it is so weird so a early 20s to talk some sense to a late 20s-30s.

May this world be a better place to live in...

2008-08-19T07:33:00.000-07:00

recently saw 2 "siow"(insane,crazy) people. ok, maybe they are not insane but they have some mental problems. Mental probs sound alot nicer. Since the starring of 9pm channel 8 show which was acted by Fann. I began to realized how brittle a life may be. On one occasion, was on the way home. The train was pretty crowded and there was this old uncle keep shouting to himself. He was at the other cabin, and he keep shouting "SI LIAO, SI LIAO" (die alread, die alread in hokkien) plus some mumbling. He went on and on and i can see the rest of the passenger were pretty disturbed. Yesterday, saw this secondary school boy from XXX sec. He was studying and he repeating the text to himself loudly. The repetition was "1 mile =? km/s" and laughing to himself. Maybe he was analyzing but it is pretty obvious he is not mentally sound. The passenger were annoyed as well. Many turn and look at him. Then there was this little pri school ger wore a prefect slash boarded the bus. He went extremly quiet. Dare not even make a sound but kept staring at her. Its abit disheartening to see people like this, i do not know how to help them. Probably due to the stress level increasing in our economy. I doubt they want to be in this shape. Imagine how their family member feel, having to have to take care and worried about their life.

May this world be a better place to live in...

2008-08-18T03:57:00.000-07:00

wow.. i had been blogging quite frequently. Thats good, tomo is my theology and sotm papers. still studying. wed is joshua's prayers and cultural mandate test. Pray i will continue to do well. today, i had a good time praying to God as i don't have to serve. I really love it lo.

looks like i am developing some ulcers again. haiz... but the pimps on my forehead is healing, Hallelujah! one step to flawless skin.

brought one lip balm recently, it says when apply, it will change color according to the color of the lips. so i brought that. emmm.... the balm is not pink, it is white in color. but when i apply to my lips. It turn pink. I think my lip is kind of dark, the pink is outrageous lo. it is so pink! i look so scary lo. i gave that balm to kz. Nice Kz give me one of her in return, so i could use. thanks lovely.

i had a wonderful time with my family yesterday. mum comming to my grad. so so happy.

2008-08-15T07:33:00.000-07:00

I can't make for tanning at sentosa this weekend again. How sad, this week gotta attend all the service. The school even got a bus chartered. Already the last week liao still torture. Next week 4 more exams to go. Sianz...

was pisssed off by some students. I meant the audio sermons, we spent a long time to listen to get info to fill in the blanks. Even start 2 weeks before the annocement that it is examinable. Actually, most of them have not even started. Well, some of them know we have completed and want to copy lo. I meant like not fair lo, if u fail to plan , u plan to fail what. Sianz x 2....

need to refind job again, i think after a week of consideration. My salvation is not worth for the job.

great is our God and greatly to be praised.

i am continuing to cruxify my flesh, as your can see my flesh is pretty tough and stubborn after years of rebellion.

CARLY SIGNATURE LARGE GOT IT

Sunday, January 13, 2008

I Got this sugar... muacks muacks.. thanks baby. Buy me more bags k! I will post more in the blog. lol !!!!

happy girl wannabe~

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

FLA @ MARRIOT

I look so skinny bony lo... my beloved team

Group photo. miss you guys. All the best!

2008-08-14T04:26:00.000-07:00

i score pretty good grade for my exams and assignment.
great! Praise and glory to be onto God.

grad in 9 days...
__________________________________________________________

was pissed off by a friend.
He know i am looking for a job. And ask me if i would like to work for him. No exp needed. accouting/admin job. Then i ask him how much is he willing to pay. He say 1200. I was like
oh my goodness!!! u crazy ar, pay so little expect me to work for you. really fed-up lo, to think employers nowadays wanna hire $1200 ppl with skills, hardworking blah blah blah. people may work for you lah, temporary only ar. Coz they need to look for job ma, sooner or later they will leave and you gotta trained another up again. never use brain lo. Most of the mnc are promoting employees benefits just to make them stay. Good pay, workers are willing to work hard for you. Shity pay, shity production. wake up la... save money also not like that.

2008-08-13T04:11:00.000-07:00

baby received the mail to join pilot le.
already told him to call last few month already. want face lo. dun call , keep waiting. must be pro active right. then kena go re-service. anyway, congrats lo.
soon he will be away. haiz...

jia you ba.. 1 step closer to being "tai tai" evangelist.

2008-08-11T07:45:00.000-07:00

Baby Pinky, i miss u so much...

i miss her more than i miss him. How i wish i can sleep with u pinky baby. love love.

2008-08-11T06:29:00.000-07:00

been looking at recipe recently...

Dj andrew is injured. i actually thought of making pig trotters for him. meant to be a joke la.
the conversation goes...

me: aiya, i make pig trotters for ya leg la...
He: must be pig trotter meh
me: hmm, then chicken leg lo..
He: must be leg meh?
me: pig brain boost brain, leg boost leg ma..

~~~~SNAP~~~~

i fell in love with a deejay, deejay
nah na nah na nah

2008-08-06T05:11:00.000-07:00

NO MONEY ,
NO HONEY !

2008-08-06T05:02:00.001-07:00

this week had been job hunting. I am glad all the interviews went very well and all of them wanted to hire me so much. seriously, not i am bragging. it my personality ! i am the person always on the move. love meeting people and talking. after the interviews i went, i seem quite pleased with one. willing to pay me well, (sales job) good commision and the most importantly, set a benchmark for my career path to take off. However, it is tough man at the beginning. The guys willing to mentor me so much and bring me to hong kong for further business development. Of course all this are the rosy side. maybe i should try for 6 mths. after all, the product is not really hard to market.

2008-08-05T03:56:00.000-07:00

hi all,

wow, this week is tough for me. gotta rush dozens of audio sermons. That was really alot of sermons k. This week tests, next week too and the next following week probably. we are all in a rush now. graduating already, expected.

stress level 8/10. :(
Must get a job soon, money is running out.
my ex-boss birthday is coming soon.

had such a wonderful time with el yest. miss her like crazy. we went shopping, brought some clothes. Finally, shopping! am so happy yest lo. Got my eye lashes glues. Yippy! i only use tat certain brand. Very good, quite ex but i guess it is worth it. Totally love it. Ray say wanna bring me plant lashes. Woohoo... better be soon ar. then i not need to paste till so "xin ku". rmb to sub me a credit card also arh. Your words is your bond hor. muarhahah...

2008-08-01T09:48:00.000-07:00

got a super lousy day tdy. went for interview tdy, turns out not to be wat i expected. still thinking and praying over it. Interview took half of my day, most of my time is wasted there waiting. time = $ , rest, knowledge inputing. Lost my hp keychain, the red hag doll that qinsi brought for me along with the slash that kazay brought to adorn the doll. well, double bonus i guess. what i hate is Fop at indoor stadium. can't believe i had to attend all days. I am so tired lo, reach there too many ppl, need to cab over indoor. had such a hard time getting a cab. then fop ended, some of my members left earlier w/o telling me. wat the problems with couples. when they got attached, its like they are in their world lo. Probably, the rate of them getting attached is so few that they treasure the relationship so much. But can't they be separated for a min. not as if they are already married lo. this couples thingy is freaking me out. anyway, back to the ordeal. I got so mad lo, i need to make some annocement and get some forcast and need to text and call them again. Hp bills lo. well, wx is nice enough to offer some help and he did a amazing job i must say. and guess wat, bus is full, bus stop packed, no cab. we walk a long journey to a deserted busstop lo. AND i broke my heels and lost my ez-link. ARGGGGGG!!!! I am so tired and all this stupid stuff happen. wat worst, call him and talk about it, hoping for some encourgment, turns to be disapointment lo. he was dry swimming again. How many times must he dry swim in a week. when i need him, he is always not avail lo. How to talk, tell me la. Teach me la. HOW!

early morn pm for 2 weeks has become compulsory. need to clock in by 7am. somemore, my team is on duty. even more early. why why why....

I AM SO PISSED!

2008-07-29T01:58:00.000-07:00

I am suffering from ulcers attack again!
why why why...

sot is coming to an end in about 4 weeks time. Alot of ppl already start feeling sad. But i think its good for me. I have been expecting it to come sooner. I need to work to get money.

I love working life so much lo, but i keep ending up studying. i am having such a wonderful life now. love every moments of it.

2008-07-08T07:41:00.001-07:00

piangz... i saw someone back on the track blogging leh
so i got motivated and enter one entry. hahah...

dun forget our romantic dinner tomo. hee hee... then we head down to ya club. and wink some guys off their chairs. whoo hoo hooo (a leopard nv changes its spots), this reminds me

tell yr a joke
was with this guy. went party with his frens. he is kinda my date. then i saw this superly handsome guy opp me and half of the time we were eyeing each other, sending signals. then boop! i feel somethig weird behind me. as i turn my head, i saw my date smiling at me...."very handsome hor~"
.......................................... oh shit ..................................................................................

hee hee hee

2008-05-17T07:57:00.000-07:00

so dejected, so hurt...

by the words someone said. Am i that bad? Am i that intolerable tat you have to say tat to me?
I don't think i am that bad and i deserved a better treatment. If u can't stand it, then just leave me be. All of us would be happier. Why make everyone's life so hard about?

and look! I don't own u any money ok, I make sure i don't. I don't own ya anythg. I make sure i don't depend someone on money so that the person will not think they had something to put me down. I have hands and legs, i will survive w/o anyone's help.

exams coming...
tomo still have to go chr early for pm. 7am lo. so early for wat? i am going to find out if its compulsory. I stay in west somemore lo, abit ridiculous rite. My life already so packed liao. I am not superwoman lo. can't things be a little more flexible sometimes. How i wish i would just escape.

day time study, noon work, night class, assignments, read bible, ministry, cg, contact personnel, forcasting. where do i find all the time seriously. So fed-up lo. I am going to turn real nasty if someone really step on my tail.

sorry guys, i am abit flared up tdy. Tomo will be better day for me. Last of all, i apologize for unhappiness causes after reading this.

2008-05-01T05:51:00.000-07:00

wat a long day i had tdy! so tired, but Happy!

went facial yest, go fawless come back with red spots on my face. Pain lol...

i am going to pray hard later. For someone. Hope God really answer this prayer request this time.

2008-04-28T06:34:00.000-07:00

"White Flag"

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you, Or tell you that.

But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder

Or return to where we were I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again

And I caused nothing but trouble

I understand if you can't talk to me again

And if you live by the rules of "it's over" then

I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet Which I'm sure we will

All that was thereWill be there still I'll let it pass

And hold my tongue And you will think That I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be...

.....for my ex-love, uncle ricky.....

2008-04-25T01:58:00.001-07:00

today move in the h.s again. well, we exp extremly long holy laughter. :Powerful encounter! When u move in th e spirit and time passes so quickly u dun even know it!

yest was quite a fullfilling day for me. Meet Yh, get some dinner and chat for a wee hrs. Intresting. Anyway, thanks for encouraging. Feel blessed after sharing. And encouraged too! Then meet El, lovely. Spent a good time togther yest.

me beloved has no time for me. how sad...

i thk tat someone has good feeling for me. i told him i alread had someone in mind. The expression change so drastic. And keep asking me qns abt the guy. blah blah blah. After tat, i thk ok la. At least i dun led him on.

feel very blessed when ppl came to me and share their problems with me. Thank God for the favour. Be blessed ppl. love yr much

2008-04-24T01:42:00.000-07:00

was talking to Dj Ft(he is a atheist),
so funny lo.

me: yea... will pay ya a visit one of this days
Ft: yea, when u are not feeling so holy then come n find me lo
me: ....... okay~ not easy lo, being holy for me
Ft : yea, suddenly want to stop sinning also very hard. take it easy lo
me : hahahhaha.....

miss them so much!

Jia you!!

Got a revelation tdy whilst pastor was speaking, and it set me thinking for awhile.
he was sharing that members will come and ask him thgs abt S and pst K.eg, why are they doing this and that. y shld she crossover. y shld this n tat.
And Pst was sharing how he ans them with a story.

there was this train, in this train, there were passenger. And there was this one man. He look so tired, big eyebags, dark circle. look so dishealved.... and his son was running about in the train. making disturbance to the public. Then this guy sitting at the oppsite, he was really irriated by this young boy.He was thinking to himself if he shld tell the man to tell his kid to behave himself or he told the kid off. So... by tis time he was really irritated and he confront the man. Saying : 'hey, your kid is making a great disturbance to the public, can u ask yr kid to sit down and behave himself. Now the man look up and ans :'maybe i shld, mayb i shld not...' Pause awhile more and answer: "his(kid) mother, my wife jus pass away half and hr ago..."and slowly look down again. The Man was like BANG! why shld he ask this kind of qns. He shld shut up! and he went back to his seat w/o saying a word.

the moral of the story. "Do not critise about other ppl coz u may not know the full picture."
Isn't this the same in cg. ppl complain this and tat. y shld this n tat. Nv do they know how much someone are paying the price by praying and crying out to God everynight for them. All they know is complain, complain and complain.

God says we shld love ppl FEVENTlY!!! not happening lo... paingz

2008-04-14T08:26:00.000-07:00

hello...

so tired this few days...
I am back from bbk. went Krabi too. Awesome trip.

Attending Sot now, alot of ppl seem surprised when i told them.
Hmmm... i thk judging from my style. Who could think i am attending anyway.
well, everythg falls under God's plan. So far, sot has been great. Keep exersing the gift. Well, we kind of tried prophesy to an unknown partners today. share a word too... i was like i dun even memorzie verses. i mean i know verses but i dun really memorize them. anyway, good also la. tat makes me depend on HS more. So, out of the 3 partners, 2 of them actually weep and tear. so i guess, not bad lah. at least got hit the correct things.

God is amazing now i am more busy, and lesser $.
work part time at company.
still have to do additonal designs and work for others. (some of you, the work gotta delay abit. i cannot work 24/7. And i need more sleep than usual people)

i am so stretch and tired. But i will drawn strength from the Lord.

okok... no more clubbing gers. Hiaz... big sacrifice lo. i miss those days. cannot flirt somemore.
I am on my walk to being a holy ger. Next time, please talk to me with respect. Dun try to be funny and call me a bitch. I am not a dog! bye bye, complicated life. but i still love you all la. i am still me.

cheerios see you guys soon.
*monk are isolate themselves while cultivating, so tat makes sense for me too...

2008-03-16T18:49:00.000-07:00

Company BBq outing on sunday.Enjoy~

2008-03-04T00:37:00.000-08:00

yest i went geylang to eat frog leg porriage
yummy...

went for a little tour as well, pretty scary but eye opener.hahah...

Going to bangkok soon. My shopping spree awaits me!
so excited!

2008-02-28T05:05:00.000-08:00

Good Stuff!

my bro below,

practically wear my costume secretly and still dare to take picture.
but i find it cute thoug, so i forgive him. haha...

2008-02-22T21:07:00.000-08:00

attended someone's wedding yest. looking back, i may be the one standing next to him lo. He look so man and outstanding. Well, i just found out that the bride was alot more older than him. He is happy, i am happy for him too(hope so). And i was like so isolated lo, not a single a person i know except for the groom.
All the best for ya next step of life~

i did a nasty thing yest, hope he will forgive me. oppsy.

Jaslyn is officially known as Squirrel Girl. Nick Given by one of the famous Dj in town.
Coz i have been talking to DJs recently. And i am singing this "in love with DJ" every now and then. haha.. they are so cool. I even ask them to hire me as i am going jobless soon(joking manner la~). Yeap! I am quitting my job. So much memories though. I am going to miss this place. Esp, the one who treat me very well. thank you for the guidance. you are the best!

Feb has been a very busy month. Chingay is over now coming next will be a hsbc woman's championship gig. I am performing with the rest of 11 gers. It's gonna be a very good show, everything was like so cool again. haha...

Pst Ulf Ekman is in town, Powerful Weekend services! Do drop by expo hall 8 @ city harvest Church. For more details, please visit => www.chc.org.sg

went to a guy call steven's cell group. Well, he is the cell leader. I was so blown away by him. He is so humble lo. Can u belive it? All the acheivement he had, yet he is so humble. He even thank me for coming to cell grp. I was like "WOW"! i have never met anyone as humble as him before lo. He even serve me in the little things. A leader leh! Awesome. I can see Jesus in him. I was so touched by him and was reflecting on how i can treat ppl better. the way we carry ourselves actually affect and touch ppl life without us knowing it. Even thoug i dun know him well enough, i can already sense the love he had for God and for God's people.

looks like i am getting naggy. hahah...
tata~
God bless

2008-01-31T18:38:00.000-08:00

chinese new year is coming... yea!
i haven complete my shopping thoug.
and i am feeling so sleepy.

participating in chingay...
dun know if i shld, alread so packed alread still sqeeze some stuff in. hhaha...

btw, cgm is coming over to my place for dinner on tues.
my parents were quite pissed at me when i told them we will do groceries and come up n cook.
so my parents will do the groceries and your just come and eat. i was like telling them its the 21st century alread... anyway, your jus come and eat la! mus help to clean hor.

someone invited to go cruise. how nice...

2008-01-21T22:13:00.000-08:00

got quite stress this few weeks.

I got tons of assignment and projects @ school. hump... And literally everyday after work, i am staying back to do my school work. How i long for the chinese new year weekend, thats when i get a week off. Finally~ rest!

Got quite a scared when my deal kena rejected by one of my client. Tats was worth alot man. To think i gotta fork about half of $$$. sometimes, the bigger the deal the more i am scared to take up. But don't take up mean no $$$. Anyway, cannot mention too much over here. Ultimately, this is world wide web, who knows...

I gotta jia you! i am sure i can do it.
Its not me, but God who works in me.

2008-01-14T07:42:00.000-08:00

i am so proud of chris today
chris as in christina.. she is my ger at work. my right hand man. (i also got helper k)

she held today's meeting. Its went so well than expected.
It was quite an experience for her. She was so worried about it in the afternoon, when i told her she was to chair today's meeting. After some reassurance, she was somehow assure.

and guess what, she really did it. I never seem the whole company participated so much before. Everyone was so eager to give ideas and suggesstion. we even put up a mind map. Yu bee was so motivated.

I love my gers, they are so wonderful. I thank God for ppl being put into my life. I may be demanding at work, but i am still nice. hahah...
my boss must be very proud of us.

went to ite clementi for a meeting. Spot my classmate seet.
the world is so small. and she start annocing my age again lo. piangz.. the whole class knows alread. now the whole ite lecturers know. she was so excited when she saw me, "my daughther, this is my daughter". I same age as her daughter ma, tats why...

Love me Not, I am not ready for you.

2008-01-13T23:50:00.000-08:00

CARLY SIGNATURE LARGE

ISn't this a Darling...

I yearn for you...

2008-01-12T05:50:00.000-08:00

Hear me Rant, LOUD N CLEAR!

Mama make me tidy my room today.
well, she did help me of course. You think i will really tidy the room myself? NO WAY!

I manage to part with my 7 big bags of collections. All my paintings and drawings are all gone. GONE! i had to throw my bags and lots of lots of stuff.
but come to think of it, i dun really need them anyway. I have change. I need new stuff. I am all growned up. At least my room look neater now la...

see, now she is flumbering with m junks outside and trying to salvage some items she can use.
My stuff all not cheap lo.

I am so tired... today weather is so freaking hot when i came back from school. I dozed off at the bus and knocked my head at the pillar for about 5 times. PAIN DEY...
I got a absence letter, your think i really got time to study meh. I still need to do report writing for one of the module i am absence from. My work is killing me, now school work is driving me crazy.

Oh ya.. i really wanna eat North Indian Food. I am still craving for it. would there be someone nice enough to bring me to dinner?

Darling bee lost her phone agian. This time the whole purse. 3 phones in a month. 1st- Iphone, 2nd- LG touch phone, 3rd -Lg touch phone again. Plus this time, her new coach wristlet and credit cards and everything la. All expensive stuff. wonder how is she going to survive. I love ya darling, muacks!

Sorry ah, got alot of things to say as i seldom drop by. i am still doing something to give my blog some life. But i have been activtly facebooking. I love it!

2007-12-22T05:38:00.001-08:00

christmas season yet no christmas spirit. hahha...
was quite fed-up tdy, last min ask me do things. If dunwan to do just say la, drag until last min i am the one still doing.
anyway. its over la. small little things, just get over and done with.

bee went out again. thg she say she tired... hahha.

i miss alot of people today, maybe coz i am too free.

Smilez

2007-12-18T06:07:00.000-08:00

hey hey, guess what my classmate mary had send me.
Isn't this wonderful, Now everyone can see my classmates.

I am a proud to be baby of the class, they love me and i love every single one of them.

2007-12-09T21:13:00.000-08:00

my boss got a bible in the ipod.
I am going to get one as well.

well, i am blogging at work again. but this time is for killing time k, the printer super slow lo. And i am dying of inhaling too much slovent smell. Hope my skin won't go bad. :(

Christmas is coming, i am so excited. God spoke to me abt a certain fren that i need to reach out to. I am going to persuade her to come no matter how many times she rejected me. God is moving, we need to move with him as well, i dun wan to be left behind lo. I just hope i have a greater capacity. Thoug i am busy in workplace, i still have time for cg and ministry stuff. I like to keep myself busy, but i must be careful not to be too busy for God. I hope our cell can multiply by the end of this year. Bring more frens please!!!

yest recording was good. However, i fell asleep at the studio. *Bad example
But it went well, i believe.

Ma's birthday this weekend, Daddy throw a dinner for her.I brought her a branded handbag(*pain ar). I will be away for the weekend again. Going to miss service again. I miss 3 services this year. Broke record liao.

this week, there will be lots of OT. I hate It! ARGGGGG!!!!
I dun wan to work, i dun wan to work....
sobz...

2007-12-02T04:46:00.000-08:00

i miss my laptop. haha... today is my earliest day tat i ever get home for this week. I need plenty of rest! and most importantly, a nice good sleep.

welson and joyce received salvation today. Gongrats! was picking up their kids and got spotted by wen hui. And he told me, "hmmm... this aunty with two kids look so familiar".what AUNTY! i am not even married ok! If i am married and having kids, i am also a pretty and a sexy mother k. DUN EVER EVER CALL ME AUNTY!

I better cool off just in case some wrinkles try to make their way through my so porcelian and delicate face

Kate and I help yu bee to her new apartment. Its a nice place. So cozy... next time we move out together k. I get daddy to buy me one too. My daddy also love me alot de lo. If only my mum will come over and do housework, hahah...

2007-11-23T01:23:00.000-08:00

wow... my blog is collecting dust here. hahah...
I am blogging at working time. Just in case my kpo boss came across my blog again.
At least i am truthful lo.

There is alot of things i wanna blog about. Are you guys intrested to know hows my KL-Genting Trip? Heres the scope just for you!

Arrival At Istana Hotel, KL

(the pig-tail ger is me. Not so- funny kate. My fat boss welson at the counter.)

caught them in adultery!
well, we are staying in a 5-star hotel. This got both of them excited. they are just playing ard la..

I hate to admit that he got a poor sense of dressing. Stop wearing yr ma's pants la!

The stylish me with kate and a ghost tat came flying pass behind us.

Chris's Butt look quite round hor

KL CC, MAC

Arrival at Genting- day

Look dumb with a backpack yet dress so nice

Arena of stars, the tpp gers

Her concert lo.

JJ was there as well...

Club safari, this is where i get my macho guy. wahahha

The gers...

she is tipsy...

2 cheapo scaf at the side, the middle one is a real burberry!

we manage to get into the pic in time!

hmmmm.... this is the genting trip. My cousin have send me pixs from the wedding yet. Stay tune guys.

Tonight El's Birthday Party.

tomo test. oh my....

2007-10-28T03:36:00.000-07:00

hi everyone...
went for yest ser. Power pact! haha... Am so tired today. Thank God i can rest a bit today. my schedule is like super packed.

went for lesson yest. i am the youngest in the class. when lecturer mark reveal my age in the class. collin who was sitting next to me (i just found out he is turning 40) Jaws Droped. Everyone could see his very schocked expression. I am sure he is thinking what is this young girl doing here. This what the rest of the classmate feedback to me , his expression. I was joining the girls for a little chat outside. And one of them saw that i am wearing a ring. so she seems concerned and ask if i am married.I just politely reply that i am still single. And they were like , "All of us are single too". M encourage me to get a guy there, as all of them are rich businessman. I retored back saying, "naw, they are too old for me". I throw back the qns at them. "Is that why you are here at the class, to get rich businessman", Obviously shocked at my responses. They just merely laugh.

Dk call me yest in the middle of the night to ASK me out. I was like alread sleeping away... received 4 bombs from sf gers, 2 from millie, 2 from val. they msg me in the middle of the night to inform me some stuff. I was really wondering, how come some ppl don't need to sleep alot. I always admire those who sleep less, they are the ones who can do more things, wherelse i spent most of my time sleeping.

today performance, i am not doing very well. Lack of practise is the reason, need to work harder. But really appreciated the chance to play. I had a good time today.

next week schedule is packed again , and i msg B to turn down the "date".

well, i need to study alread and do my homework and do my programming...

2007-10-11T04:49:00.000-07:00

i am so so tired...

been to FLA class this two days.
well, business talk. No doubt that i am the youngest in the class. All of them are old bird. Super experience. And i know nuts abt business. so i tried not to sleep in class. though its so hard for me to absorb everything. But all went well, project discussion was not productive for me. My group was spared for presentation today.

the course started early than i expected. I sign up on mon, and start on wed. I was opted out due to late admission. welson was kind enough to argue for a space for him. He is a nice Boss, i will try my best to understand the topics i learn and exercise it for him. That the least i can pay him back for grooming me.

I enjoy the lesson. looking forward for the next class and see my oldies frens.
Old ppl are nice, the tend to share alot of their experience. I just have to shut my mouth and listen to what they say.

Btw, Jason send me a phone all the way from korea. new phone, yeah yeah.
I love it, Korean BOY!
Thanks a billion.

2007-10-07T21:31:00.000-07:00

IN EVERY HEARTBEAT
LIES A DREAM OF GREATNESS
AND DEEP INSIDE US
TREASURES UNFOLD
REACHING FOR THE STARS
THAT SHINES ABOVE
I WANNA LIVE MY LIFE FOR ALL ITS WORTH

EVERY SUNRISE
DAWNS A NEW BEGINNING
AND WHEN THE NIGHT COMES
A FIRE BURNS WITHIN
EVERYDAY I LIVE I WANNA GIVE
THE VERY BEST OF ME
SO LET THE DREAMS WITHIN
COME ALIVE

FLYING TO THE BLUE SKY
SOARING HIGH ABOVE
EVERY CLOUD EVERY MOUNTAIN
IS A NEW HORIZON
FLYING TO THE BLUE SKY
REACH FOR SOMETHING MORE
AND THROUGH IT ALL
I WILL STAND TALL
I WON’T GIVE UP
I AM STRONGER THAN BEFORE

I’LL CROSS THE LINE
LEAVE MY FEARS BEHIND
EACH STEP I TAKE
I’LL REACH FOR GREATER HEIGHTS
FOR IN THE END
DESTINY IS IN MY HANDS
THIS IS MY CHANCE
I’LL GIVE THE BEST I CAN

2007-09-21T08:43:00.001-07:00

Tonight was an awesome night.
I represent my company to a Gala Dinner. FLAsia, Franchsing sort of stuff.
it was wow! i used to be a bar girl watching those well dressed people being served. And now, i am sitting at one of those place. at the Pan Pacific...

Its grand... the food is nice. It was a eye-opener. So kate and I began to solicitate. Thats the main reason for the function. Of course, we are one the youngest. In fact, i think we are the youngest over there. So we manage to know some of the big bosses. anyway, its a very grand nite, didn't manage to get any pics taken as i don't have a camera. I should get one soon. haha...

miss my desert as Kang came to pick me up. We went to Mount Faber for awhile and he send me home. That was nice as he stay all the way at the east.

today is a very happy day for me, I love being happy. At least for today.

2007-09-16T20:22:00.000-07:00

aiyo...
i very stress leh. super duper emo this morning.
haiz, life still have to go on

My work load is increasing each and every day. How i wish that it was like in the past when there is someone over me helping me. I faced alot of rejects, customers are really nasty people. So demoralized...

anyway, my life have been experiencing alot of setback recently. why like that...

happy mood, come back soon!

2007-09-14T01:52:00.000-07:00

all my prez.
Prez missing in the picture are, 3 ang paos and chris's gift.

i love all of them.

2007-09-11T06:47:00.000-07:00

all birthday pix are here. in elsie facebook!
Click Here

2007-09-11T06:17:00.000-07:00

hahah
i turn 21st. Time pass so fast. So far my life have been quite a fulfilling one, at least i keep my joy with me.

Though i am not as happy as i am suppose to be. But looking around, they is so many ppl loving me and caring for me. It melts away my unhappiness. thank you all for making a difference.

I received lots of prez and ang paos. I love every single one of them. haha...

The whole Sf sang a Super Doper long B'day song for me. Those who were there at my party too... hope your have a great time.

2007-09-07T20:38:00.000-07:00

With love you give me life, and you let me Die...

2007-09-06T07:49:00.000-07:00

just reach home ya....
feel so tired.
i need a massage.
haiz...

men will change but God will nv change. He is the same yesterday, today and forever more.

2007-09-05T07:22:00.000-07:00

I love bible study!
If there is part time SOT, that would be great.

Abit moody tdy... tomo will be a better day.
Andy brought me a bottle of macallan yest. He say i can treat my frens with that.
thank you.

I must be encouraging. Speak words of life and not of death. I should not be afraid to step out. Stepping out requries dying to oneself. I wonder if i can still do it.

2007-08-31T09:23:00.000-07:00

Just reach home from cell. tired and having a backache.

lol... i shouldn't work so hard. So hardworking also get 3% nia...
but anyway, i should be hardworking.

andy brought me to a posh restuarant call "Mouton of Chicago" located at Oriental Hotel. Posh man! 1st time in my life, almost can't get in due to my "cheap" looking dressing. But anyway, my main course "Potterhouse Steak" cost almost a hundred. aiya... i just eat lah....
and he ask me "what you want for your birthday?" and i reply "let u know again"

feel so pamper man... dun't get the wrong idea. he alread got a wife. heh...

Uncle Rick brought a car. good news or bad?
he can fetch me (not everytime)
he can't spent much on me (for sure)

aiya... focus focus. cannot be drawn away by $. *slap slap

Anyway, I must work hard. Have my own career, drive my own car. But all this comes when you put God first. If you follow God, all this things shall follow you rite.

2007-08-18T07:15:00.000-07:00

wee...

i finally went to the dentist.
well, Doc say i am perfectly fine. my teeth is clean. not much if tatar.
wow...so i shld visit the dentist once every 4 years. save $$ leh!

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I am having my Birthday celebration at

Dungeon (A Pub)
8.30pm
16 Gemmill Lane (off club st)

All are invited.

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2007-08-11T06:20:00.000-07:00

just came back from malaysia.
was visiting my relatives. And aunt miss me real much. I haven been back for a very long time. Now only twice a year. Pretty bad, coz i used to go back abt 4 times a year. But i enjoyed my stay...

a glismp of tai tai life...

my sis is a tai tai, so i get to enjoy this lifestyle for 2 days. hahah... eat, sleep, massage, shop. LOL. I must become a tai tai 1 day too...
being there for only two days set me thinking quite alot.
I don't seem to love him like i think actually.
but what is keeping me?
i am glad my family is still here for me. my sis esp.
at least i know i am not in this alone. she been thr it, and is here for me.

love ya all people.

I love singapore too. Cell grp tdy rocks. Tomo AR bernard. Chim Chim message. hee...

2007-08-07T08:20:00.000-07:00

this is jason. Picture i took one leh. nice huh.

wow~ i look super cute! ^^"

2 beauties and a auntie

2007-08-07T07:58:00.000-07:00

lost the link to jason blog. Forgot to extract the pixs yesterday.

Jasmine darling birthday. Brought her a nice gift. Hope she likes it coz i like it too.

my birthday coming soon. Not any party, i was too late to plan. So just like that lo, anyway can save $$$.

saw a bag which i really really like. But still thinking if i should really get it. cost $40. quite ex hor. I feel it is ex for a bag. so i am still thinking. Hope someone will be nice enough to buy for me. hee...
uncle rick, uncle eric, uncle andy will be barred for buying this bag as a gift. Coz it is TOO CHEAP for them.

"Can i have a BIG, SHINY STONE?"

----------------------------------------------------

was in the lift with one woman. she was formally dressed. (not suit that kind)
she look real posh lo. the way she carry her handbag. she defintely got the "air".
when we arrived on lvl 1, she just "chick check" and walk to her red awesome car. And i had walk to get public transport.hiaz.... i hope one day i will be like her. Not HOPE, is I WILL. hee... 5 more years..
jia you ar!

2007-08-02T20:08:00.000-07:00

let me inroduce Jason the korean boy to everyone.

Get to know him thr el lo...
He is a very nice person. On a misson trip to india and stops by singapore coz of transits.

yest we brought him to eat some delicacies of singapore. heh... Frog leg! yum! and not to forget all the seafood.

we didn't manage to take lots of pix though. haha... hope he enjoys his stay here. we are a good host leh. Tonight he is joining us for FOP.

His last night in Singapore. haiz.. i am going to miss him for sure.

2007-07-27T08:23:00.001-07:00

Above all powers, above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began

Above all kingdoms, above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There's no way to measure what you're worth

Crucified
Laid behind a stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all

Above all powers, above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began

Above all kingdoms, above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There's no way to measure what you're worth

Crucified
Laid behind a stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all

Crucified
Laid behind a stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all

Like a rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all

2007-07-25T22:58:00.000-07:00

hello world...

it a very boring day today, well obviously it is not busy. Maybe it will get busy later. I can never predict when the customer will come in.

The stupid el destroy my date. Haiz... why why why

nvm.. i still gpt lao er.

2007-07-16T08:31:00.000-07:00

wow... i have not been updating. went fellowshipping with my colleagues just now. well, i don't really feel like going. But in the end, i turn up. I shld spent more time knowing them better. Anyway, they are still non-believers.

Outing is great. There is greater responsibility for me at work. Ed "ran" away and left behind a Huge garbage for me to tidy up. SO, i am doing some proaching job now which eventually turn out successful. haha..

Bursary day is coming. Don't really like attending this kind of events but have too coz there is $$.

Haiz... tomo is another happy day.

My God saves the day.

2007-06-30T07:38:00.001-07:00

when will i be strong again to say goodbye?

and he ans: When you Give your heart back to me once again.

2007-06-25T02:02:00.000-07:00

Jennifer was officially married last sat. And she look awsome. What a handsome couple.

oh, i brough two cactus. Fell in love with them the moment i saw them.
Both look real simple and hairy..ermm shld be spiky.
I just so love them.
I even name them. well, el had a hard time naming all of them. Coz she is so greedy,she brought family pack.

Sat, sun tan at sentosa. After that, Company chalet at paris ris.
Think i might not stay over,sun i wanna go church.

Been reading my book. Simply love it. Well, God really speak while i am reading.

Hope i really can come up wif smthg for my design. The client so fussy. Give them 1 tight slap then they know. Make me think so much. Arggg...

2007-06-20T08:21:00.000-07:00

Hi peeps!

yawn... i just ended my gaming session. Haven been into games for a very long period of time. Been losing touch. Oh well, this sat holy matrimony. How much shld i give?
i am tired...

2007-06-06T02:07:00.000-07:00

I got a new colleague. Yup, different branch.
and i invite her to cell grp. well, she agree. Yippie.
Thank you Father for a new friend in my life.

Yesterday, i finally had a good sleep. Still feel sleepy man.
yawn...

Class outing later, I am excited.
Maybe drop by at Mos to get my two bottles. Andy brought me two bottles of chivas.
They can only stay there for a month. well, times Up! Tdy is the last day.
I am going to bring your home and tell Daddy i brought them just for him. heh heh heh...

This fri BBQ Party.

2007-05-30T01:20:00.000-07:00

Dk says he is going to bring me out after his new car arrive. Yippy!
I will be waiting...

-----------------------------------------------------

I had so much fun last night. Lets go out more often k???

----------------------------------------------------

she gone to dubai, haiz... I miss her.

----------------------------------------------------

I love working! I love being busy. I am trying to go back to the life i used to have.
Have to give up smthg in return. well.. still in progress man! I hope i can do it. Jia you to myself.

----------------------------------------------------

Darling Robin, when are we going to go out. I miss the supper gang. And I miss the times we used to have. haiz, its my fault. I am too preoccupied with smthg/smone i guess. I am coming back k, you gotta help me. jia you to me again!

----------------------------------------------------

Tonight, lets ROCK!

2007-05-23T07:30:00.000-07:00

Happy Graduation!

2007-05-15T21:52:00.000-07:00

i am telling myself to cool down.
they told me to ignore him.
Thanks for those friends who believe in me.

I am thinking of shutting down this blog...

anyway, working as a graphic designer @ expressprint.
I must jia you! never give up!

2007-05-14T09:45:00.000-07:00

As said, if you are not doing well spiritually, people around you can see and sense it.
You don't need to act spiritual if you are not.

was touch by a member telling me of how her faith has led her boyfriend to church. This is her story and i want to share it with some ppl out there.

Michelle(not her real name) was meeting her friend for lunch one day. At that lunch, she met her now boyfriend Joe(not his real name). After several meet up and dates. They decided to get together. However, Joe was a non- believer. Michelle knowing that they should not be together, held on to the relationship. She knew the relationship doesn't pull her nearer to God instead it draws her away. But yet, knowing she has sin. She stays in the church, refusing to leave God presence thoug the temptation of leaving is great. yet she made a conviction to stay no matters what happens.

After several months of prayers, she still believe that Joe would come to christ even though he seems resistant and had reject her invitation of coming to church. But michelle never stop asking. Untill, that day of his slavation finally came. well, he received christ into his heart and was born again.

Now, he is so hungry for God and is growing fast and healthy. Michelle seeing how well he is doing spoke to me. I know she put him first than God. She is more convicted to reignite the fire she has with God. Seeing how well the other parther is doing makes her wanna move on together. Of course there is some other reasons as well.

Even i saw how Joe worship and hunger for God, he remind me of how i used to be. I must move forward too. Lets grow together, helping each other. Thats what a family of christ are for...

2007-05-09T08:32:00.001-07:00

waa.. its been some time i have been blogging and Blogger seems to did some changes over here. hee hee

I have been good, very good. I am starting my new job next mon as a graphic designer. Quite excited! I will be going for a web designer job this fri. Plan not to go already as i am already going to start work next Monday. However, that lady call me up and ask me down for the interview. So i guess i might turn up as the company might wanna pay me higher.

2007-05-09T08:32:00.000-07:00

2007-05-03T20:46:00.000-07:00

I LOVE PussycaT Dolls

and this is my favourite!!!!

2007-03-22T22:36:00.000-07:00

this is my beloved cell members...

this one my favourite!

2007-03-22T08:26:00.000-07:00

These two pigheads takes picture without me. I am there too lo. Can't your wait till i come out of the cubicle!!!!!

2007-03-22T08:05:00.000-07:00

hi... hasn't been updating for quite awhile.

feel so weird when someone do follow-up on me. I like know eveything behind every conversation, call, meet-up. Use to do that myself, kinda feel weird when someone do it on me. I long to ask him, did she ask him to call, or does he call out of concern. I don't like conversation that makes me feel weird. Qns and Ans. I rather not talk. yes, i know. communication is the key. and you are most probably saying i am drawing myself further and further away. But i am not going anywhere. I am still here.....

i love you people... always do...

next,
sometimes, i wonder why pp can't seems to talk nicely. We are helping each other isn't it. My mum don't even talk like this to me. I wonder when will i lose my patience.

next next,
mic ask me to join hollerback crew. i agree. Last year i went to support them. They really look good.

2007-03-14T00:53:00.000-07:00

hi hi,

I have been job hunting. ha ha ha... actually i take my own sweet time in doing it. so far, the present company is offering $1800. but i am hoping to find a job which pays me higher than that. Dk, a guy i know at pub. Is offering 2000 plus to work in his company Hp. so he is checking it out for me. yeah... not bad. meanwhile do freelance here and there. earn points for my portfolio.

I am going Genting soon. Two more week. Next week is my darling brithday sia... what to buy leh??? hump! so many people birthday, so many darlings. my pocket is gonna burn.

The news of my nephew death is all around the newspaper. The eldest son is still in coma. The malaysia newspaper is all flooded abt the news. singapore newspaper even have it. mum has just gone back to malaysia to attend the funeral and just to be ard. hope everythings gonna be fine

2007-03-11T12:28:00.000-07:00

take alot of pixs recently. let me do the picture blogging this time..

waa... this is bad. real blur. not good at all. uncle rick and me. cheers!

like i say, he is getting fatter. i never lie rite. Gluttony!

karabo says i look like a french woman. now i understand why. my square hair-cut.

The boss if klear-cut took this pic of me. sweet eh. I am his "Qi meng" leh.

Tian lin look real mature when he took pics. he look younger in real life.

2007-03-11T12:14:00.000-07:00

well.. i got a couple of things to blog about.

1st, i am officially graduated from singapore poly. grad ceremony is about 1 or 2 mths away. yeah...

and...

my nephew just pass away. my cousin is heartbroken for losing a son. futhermore, the eldest son is in icu. from what i heard. it is very critical. i don't know what happen yet. i have to wait till morning. the last time i saw them was in chinese new year lo. please pray for my family.

2007-03-06T07:37:00.000-08:00

I spent my night with him yest... we talk, alot...

Its been sometime we get together and i really miss his company. he told me things that really set me thinking and wondering. this is what he says....

-you are just confused, not sure where you are. Do you know you belong to this world, yet u choose to go into another world. But you don't realise it now.
-never stop praying, ask God for that smthg in your mind. The problem with u is u dun even ask. The angels dun even need to pack the gift for you. You miss it!
-though u repent, the empowerment over that area is already lost in your life.
-I think u know me better, you are getting insecure.
-You will become a somebody in the future to come

actually, there is more la. But this are the main point. I just want to key them down so i can rmb what he says.

I don't want to stay at the valley. I want to go up. All my vision, they seems so blur. I want to get back the confidence i always possess. I want to reignite my dreams and my passion i once have.

God, help me...

2007-03-04T23:46:00.000-08:00

I went to St James Power House yest nite. Well, it is a gay night.
El brought ama and me to clubbing. not bad. Three of us like mad woman on the loose. We went clinic 1st. Dance there, el was quite high yest. hahha... ama also not bad la. Then we went to power house. The gays are so cute lo... alot of them got good figure leh. All muscle, i like~. but hahha... gays. :(

2007-03-03T01:20:00.000-08:00

they keep murmuring behind my back...
whats wrong? break off those traditional mind-set.
whatever lah~

I am going genting next month.
A thousand thanks to him who sponsor for the trip.
I shall not overspend here, save some money and spent over there might be a wise idea.

went to do my hair yest. I dye my hair,
it turns out like no difference. Like i didn't dye loh..
next week el is going there. I shall complain to the boss.
since he treated me like his "childhood idol"

2007-02-24T04:59:00.000-08:00

this are some of the pics we took at schizo's 21st b'day!

wee... i am eyeing schizo.

like what ama said, we haven done this for ages

2007-02-24T02:59:00.000-08:00

Never in my life, i met someone who trusted me so much. haiz...

shawn just call me out to go drinking. Don't really feel like going with him and his gang. He confrim will make me drunk. I don't wanna to puke and lost my beautiful image leh.
I only want to go out with the someone i had in mind. la la la...

Just read buddy's blog. Hao lian la~ got so many valentine day gift. Don't want can always donate to me ma... but feel quite sad coz he mention abt only wanting to receive the gift from that someone who is no longer around. haiz... the past is past, what to do. Look for a girl, buddy.

yest was my first day in Intuition, they wanted to hired me full time. I am still considering as i want to get into big company. wear nice nice go to work everyday. The company is small, alot of ang mohs. went to smu for lunch with yihan. Like a million year never see him. haha...

cell grp today was great. hmm... I need to get back that passion i had before! Jia you ba...